It’s odd how we react when we see our friends or people we know, or even people we don’t know, succeeding. Seeing them doing amazing things, big things, exciting and powerful things. Shouldn’t we be rejoicing with them? Authentically congratulating them on how well they’ve been doing? Lifting them up for putting in the work and following God’s plan for them?
This normally isn’t how I tend to react. I want to, really, I do. It’s just hard sometimes. It’s hard to celebrate others successes when it feels like you’re left in the dust.
So while I really am proud of these people, and happy for them, sometimes those feelings are overpowered by feelings jealousy, sadness, and sometimes anger. Because why can’t I be prospering like them, dang it.
I’ve been thinking about my reactions to others’ successes in this season. The season of everything new. People I love moving hours away to start college. Me and my friends about to start our last year of high school. Other friends not quite to their last year and knowing this is our last year of school together. And it seems like all of these people know what their next step is.
Some have moved into their dorms/apartments and are about to start class. Some have scheduled college visits, decided where they want to go and why, and have been accepted. Some have decided they want to work after high school and are already taking steps to make this happen. And then here I am.
I’m so incredibly happy to see these people making the right decisions, and being happy with their decisions. And being ready. But again, I feel left in the dust.
Is it anybody’s fault I feel this way? Absolutely not. Am I actually being left in the dust? Nope, I’m sure it. So why does it feel this way?
I think patience is a difficult thing to acquire. At least for me anyways. So while I should just be waiting on God and listening to Him, I’m getting antsy because of the people around me. Getting antsy to find out what my next step is. And this nervousness is making me lose focus. It’s causing me to tune out of what God’s trying to tell me. I’ve been studying college websites more than my bible for the past week. I’ve been listening to everyone so much to get “inspiration” for what I should pursue. But that’s not really how it works, sadly.
Something else I’ve had to realize when I feel behind is this:
Not everyone moves at the same time.
Seeing everyone making decisions is like a warning siren telling me that I better get to it before it’s too late. But that’s not true at all. Just because it was your friend’s time to take the next step, doesn’t mean it’s your time, too. Maybe you’re not meant to take that step at all, but you keep pushing for it so you can catch up. Maybe that’s why you don’t feel settled. You could be meant to take a step to the left but you keep trying to run to the right.
Just because you think they’re doing amazing, doesn’t mean you’re not also doing amazing.
So I’ve learned that all this stress about future plans it pointless. It has caused me nothing good. It’s caused me to listen to the enemy telling things like I’m not going to succeed. Things like I’m stuck behind and may not ever catch up unless I hurry to make decisions right now. The stress has made me tune into him more than God. Stress is damaging.
Try and make this your perspective:
That person has done something amazing. It was their time to pursue one of the goals God has given them. So I will rejoice with them! And I will rejoice for He is good! I may not have taken a huge step yet, but I’m taking steps everyday, even if they seem small. I will continue to lean on God and listen to Him, because He knows where I’m going. He knows where He wants me. He knows how I’m going to get there. So I will throw out all of this stress. I will throw out the lies from the enemy. I will throw away jealousy, and replace it with overflowing love. I will throw out bitterness, and replace it with joy in all situations. I will continue to rejoice because He is still so good!
Stop being so hard on yourself, okay? Stop being so hard on others because it looks like they’re ahead of you, okay? Don’t let the bitterness get to ya. It might take a while, but try to stop stressing. Let His light flood in instead.
“And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”