I’m only happy.

Ya know those days where you’re just mad? Sometimes you don’t even know why. But it’s like every little thing that happens seems to make your day worse.

You’re mad that you want to yell or cry. Maybe both. Then you get mad at yourself for being mad so you get more and more mad. It’s a weird cycle.

I was having one of these days a couple weeks ago. I don’t even remember what happened to put me in this bad mood now. I do remember how I felt and what I thought, though.

I remember thinking to myself that I just needed to sit down and pray. But then I thought, “I don’t want to pray. I just want to feel better. Right now.”

I remember feeling so ashamed by those words. I was doubting Jesus’ power and healing and love. Telling Him that talking to Him wouldn’t fix my problems right away.

I was so wrong, and I knew it. I just said, “oh no no no. I’m so sorry Jesus.”

Guys, He knows that we have emotions and feelings. He has felt emotions. He knows us. But it’s like we don’t believe that He’ll truly understand we’re hurting and that He’ll help us. We’re craving something on this earth to solve our problems. But it won’t.

Jesus should be my best friend. I can tell my best friend when I’m upset or hurting. I should be able to tell Jesus WAY more. I shouldn’t have to act like I’m only happy, because He knows good and well that nobody only has one emotion.

And how are we supposed to build up a relationship if we’re not our true selves? If we don’t expose ourselves to Him and open up so He can come in and save us, once again.

We need to talk to Him all the time. Through every emotion. He’s on our side. He’s there for us. Sometimes we don’t want to talk when we’re mad or upset, but sometimes we need to. Don’t turn your back on Him. He’s gonna see it all anyways so you might as well just go ahead and tell Him all about it.

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