Why Fluffer Friends Aren’t Good Friends

I have had many friendships throughout high school already. Some have stayed and are still alive. Some have withered away and no longer exist. Some are being revived because we have learned how to be honest. I have realized that the friendships that have lasted and kept strong are the ones that are based off of honesty; not fluff. So I decided to put together a list of why honesty is best in a friend.

1. They’re compliments are incredibly uplifting.

If they give you a compliment, their words will have deeper meaning. They’re not the kind to give empty compliments, so when they say something like, “You have a true gift,” or, “You’re talent is really shining through,” you know they mean it, truly.

2. They don’t let you go out looking ridiculous.

Sometimes outfits I think are cute in the mirror, I end up hating throughout the day. It might hurt at first, but it’s nice to have a friend that will warn you of this. That doesn’t mean you want a friend that calls you ugly! Just someone that says, “I think you would look better in a different outfit,” or, “I like it when you do a different makeup look.” (If you feel beautiful though, own it anyways and your friends will probably support you.)

3. They give advice that’s actually helpful.

They’ll tell you if your Instagram caption is lame, if you need to read your bible more, or if you need to stop chasing a boy. And they’ll give you reasons for every piece of advice and why they believe it.

4. They care about maintaining your friendship.

They don’t think you’re just someone that they can latch onto until they find their next friend. That’s why they don’t feed you fluff and tell you things just aren’t true. They want to keep you around because you’re important to them. And they hope they’re just as important to you.

5. They’ll let you know if they want to hang out.

If you guys haven’t spent time together in a while, you’ll definitely hear from them. They love you and they love spending time with you.

6. They’ll let you know if they don’t want to hang out.

Sometimes we need our space, and it’s OKAY. You get it, they get it, everything’s fine. You don’t have to be with each other 24/7 to remember that you guys love each other.

7. They tell you how they’re really feeling.

If you did something to upset them, they’ll tell you. If they’re hurting about something, they’ll tell you or they’ll tell you why they don’t want to talk about it. A fluffer friend will either say, “nothing’s wrong,” or they’ll make up something that isn’t actually why they’re upset. They don’t want to start conflict with you because in a friendship that has a wiggly foundation, it’s hard to healthily work throw a conflict.

8. They’ll keep you classy.

They won’t let you post vulgar things. Maybe some boy upset you and you want to tweet about how he’s a low life and you never needed him. An honest friend will physically stop you from doing that (if they’re a good friend). They don’t want you to make yourself look silly because they know you have a better heart than that.

9. They’ll help show you how to love people.

Honesty is a huge factor in all relationships, not just friendships. This friend has taught you how to give truth always, which is something you’ll need to know how to do with everyone you love.

10. They want what’s best for you.

They’re honest because they care about you. They love you. They want you to make the right decisions. They’ll do anything possible so you can up happy, even if what they say stings at first. Remember to thank them for being honest with you. We could use more honesty and less fluff.

I was going to stop at 10 because 11 seems like an odd number, but I thought of one of the most important ones. Way too important to not include in this list. So enjoy this bonus:

11. They pray for you.

This friend cares about you enough to pray for you. They pray when your relationship is the best it’s even been and they pray when it’s at an all time low. This is the most important point to me. It means a lot to know that someone is praying for you. They truly have the best intentions for you if they take the time to send up a prayer.

If you’re a fluffer friend, I hope you’ll analyze this list. Learn how to be more open and honest with your friends. Telling someone what they want to hear is such a temporary benefit, it’s barely a benefit at all. The strength of the relationships that has fluffer friends cannot even be compared to the relationships that have honest friends.

Don’t be a fluffer friend.

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